names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My vagina just clenched in fear
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
