They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
