my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize