We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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