I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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