Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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