Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just high enough for therapy.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
