everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
