Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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