you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
