i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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