I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
