He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
