I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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