i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
