i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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