Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
