What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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