my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
