More tranny stories later!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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