I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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