ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
