i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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