oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
