You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
