Soap is not a condiment
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
