yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
