the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm just crazy horny about you
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
