I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
