epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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