And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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