At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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