they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
