This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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