Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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