My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize