Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
