Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
