She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I lost the right to judge tonight
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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