And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
