It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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