As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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