It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
