The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
