Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
