yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
