there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
