so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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