one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
