No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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