no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
someone owes me an orgasm
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize