sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
