i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
