so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
