I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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