if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
