I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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