I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize