literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
