google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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